Feature Vanner of the Month

Robert "Fish" MacKay

Chief Judge - VANZ.

WOW!! 10 years vanning. Who would have thought I would have come this far in vanning. After my first run at the Te Puke Nationals in 1995 I was hooked.

After Jan/Feb 1994 I was asked to join the Thames Valley Vanners. I went to a couple of meetings, and found out about the upcoming Wanganui Nats, but after some bull shit and in house fighting within the club I flagged it away and got busy doing up my first van, a 1980 MK II Escort, complete with 1600, steelies and biscuit cutter tyres. It was in good condition, white with a red pin stripe. It went ok, but of course being a young hoon I wanted more. So I got some wider cortina rims and a bigger carb, and some extractors that kept banging on the floor and breaking off. Then went for more bigger carbs, big bore exhaust that spat out 114DB! Then van went and handled better, so I thought why not throw some paint on it. A nice Nissan colour “Charcoal 52730” to be exact set the van off quite well, and with gloss black bumperettes was mostly finished. (Yeah right!) After sleeping in the “Fish Bin” a few times, I got to thinking “shit its cold” in the mornings, as I woke with a headache and had icicles and condensation raining down from the bare metal roof. After a chat with Thames Valley Upholsterers, an interior design was under way.

At that stage Quentin with the “Lab Rat” escort moved to the Thames region, and he happened to be driving past our house one day and saw my escort in the drive. He stopped for a look and a yak and then went on his way.

About 3 months before the Te Puke Nats, I got asked to join the Thames Valley Vanners again so I went to their Jan 95 meeting and bumped into Quentin again, and met Mike Goodwin and Kevin “Mac” Mackenzie, long time vanners. At that first meeting Quentin challenged me to have my escort at the nationals at Easter, so I went hell for leather and re stripped everything and started again. Most of you know that story!!

Bigger 2 litre engine 2 x 40mm DCOE Weber side draught carbs, huge cam that had .507” lift at 282 degree duration. Full part and polished head, balanced internals, with flat top pistons, blah blah blah. Brand new alloy wheels, and an escort sport diff. some chrome bits and a fully lined rear, with sports seats, carpets and a good sound system up front. And then another paint job – all in 10 weeks!! I arrived at the nats on the Friday and stayed pissed until Monday!! I had an absolute blast, from getting 3 second places, (not bad first up!) to grass khana, to getting way hell lost with Potzy on the mystery rally!! Not to mention a scary scoury slapper of a stripper. I almost liked the bloke stripper more! As for that string of pear….. nah forget it. My good mate Purvy from Thames lobbed in for a couple of nights, and we got to know a heap of vanners and at the show took in some cool sights, and saw some hot vans too! I got home knackered!! Seems to be a common thing after a van run, eh?

Over the years, I have attended more than 100 van runs or vanning parties, but one of the best places to visit, is the South Island. For the people and sights. I went to the South Island 96 Garden City Nats, it was my first ever trip to the South Island, now I’ve been 10 times. I got what I consider the best award for my Escort. That was third place overall for engineering and undercarriage. Before the nationals, I had fully stripped, cleaned, under sealed the underside of the van, and had every single component of the steering suspension and brakes out, separated and painted, polished or renewed everything and reassembled it all in true vanner style by getting it all back together and going on the morning I was due to leave for the ferry 8 hours away!! I didn’t have any spare nuts or bolts left at the end, so it must have been ok! Traveling in convoy for a fair part of the way, we hit Wellington with 11 vans, including 9 vans for the show. Can’t beat a convoy! I got used to traveling a long way, and loved taking the escort van everywhere.

One time in Taupo, I was doing some donuts and skids (under controlled conditions & a closed road of course!!) and I blew the diff, escort diffs are not very strong anyway! Piece of proverbial, get a push to my mate’s house, pull the axles, drive shaft out, unbolt diff head, and borrow one off Red Sullivan and reassemble. 2 hours no sweat. Well this diff happened to be a 4.4 to 1 ratio. The bloody thing screamed at 5,000 RPM at 100km/h in 4^th. Top speed around 135, where mechanical sympathy set in!! (Just after 7000 RPM). It hauled arse off the line though, and had enough torque to climb Mt Everest on 4^th! 3hrs and fifty buck petrol to get home, nearly deaf too! My days as a Possum Bourne pretender came to an end about September 1997, however I still have my Escort and am still in the process of putting the EFI Cosworth Turbo and 5 speed in it. The shortened disc brake 9” diff should hold together, but hopefully one day I’ll get the chance to try and blow it up.

After attending a few runs in a car, I brought an XF Falcon Panel Van and went to about a years worth of runs including Timaru Nats in it with my new girlfriend Mellisa and also Rikki-Leigh. I installed the huge sound system from the Escort in it, only to promptly have it nicked by some wankers! I got pissed off and traded the XF on my red Falcon ‘96’ XH, a few days later. With a few minor personal touches I was having a ball! Awesome economy, power to burn, comfort and also one thing vanners strive for and at times don’t achieve – reliability, but yes it did let me down at a van run, with a packed up coil, at Tauranga Nationals 2002-2003. I think it also has a problem with rear tyre wear!! Just over 30 mpg, 2,900 kms return trip to Gunns Bush. Mellisa and Rikki-Leigh have attended and enjoyed vanning and van runs over the last five years, as much as I have over 10. Rikki-Leigh loves going in the van and honing too!! Do a skid Dad, do a skid!! Or “gee this guy is slow, hoon it dad, pass him!!” Good girl!

In April 2003 I had the pleasure of attending the Australian van nats with Chris Sherwood from Wellington. Apparently it was the biggest nationals for about 10 years. 80 vans in convoy – yeehaa! 130 vehicles on display was fantastic. Fres and Chrissy, who have attended our NZ nats a couple of times showed us around, and we got talking to Russell, who has a supercharged 302 V8 Escort, so we went for a drive to let some of the smoke out of the tyres! This run was the vans first outing since 1984, so I’ve still got hope for my Esky! A couple of times I’ve been involved with van runs that have been cancelled – but hey, what the hell – you go anyway!

I have also been involved in judging for about 8 years, and seen some good shit and some just shit, but all in all its all good. I’ve been helping organize runs for ages too, displays, feeds, parties, you name it. Even had a wedding run! (Do what you can in a panel van). Even had a punch up. I remember a bit of a biffo at a New Years run, where seven guys had a punch up in the back of Tony’s limo. In 2003 and 2005, an old run was revisited and hosted by Northern Knights Van Club, about 8 years after the last one. We had a break in 2004 from this annual Queens Birthday Run, to have a house warming party at our place. 50+ adults and 15 kids for an entire weekend. 200 snags, 80 steaks, 20 kg potatoes and 4 million (seemed like) eggs all on the BBQ and 60 pancakes for breakfast! All washed down with lots of suds!! Cool.

The last nationals I attended in Auckland was at Albany, where we combined New Years eve with a fancy dress party which always goes down well, but with karaoke and cocktails it was a ripper. One if the best nationals I have attended. But I must say, I’ve never been to a bad van run. Only good ones and better ones.

What makes vanning it the people, and I am pleased to be involved in our small (but growing again) organisation, we have so many friends all over the country who are pleased to put you up, feed you up  or just give you a hand with something. Even just a hand to light the toilet paper and watch you go streaking into the night!!

Cheers to all and have a vanning good time. If I win lotto, I’m going to become a full time vanner!!

MAY THE FORD BE WITH YOU

For further photos of Fish, his family and his vans check out our Gallery page and various van run articles.

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